New Year’s resolutions. Do you love them? Hate them? Wish you could be better at keeping them? For me, simply resolving to do or not do certain things doesn’t typically work. Even setting goals (including SMART ones) can only go so far in taking me to the next level. But I have found something quite powerful to help me grow and change, and that’s gaining new perspectives.
Perspective changes everything.
Growing up I adopted a very judgmental view of women in prostitution. Then I got to know some of them. Their stories broke me. I realized that given a different set of life circumstances, or family of origin, or even just a few different choices, I could have easily gone down a similar path. As I began to interact with women in prostitution, God began to change my perspective on them. In the process, He began to change my heart toward them.
I began to ask God what else I’d formed opinions about that needed changing. Interestingly, God gave me a new perspective on the men who were buying women for sex or viewing them in porn. I began to realize that out of loneliness, or addiction, or lack of information, men were objectifying and using precious souls made in God’s image. And I learned it wasn’t just men who were in bondage to porn; many women, boys, and girls were trapped by it as well.
They all needed a new perspective on sexuality, their own worth, and the worth of every human created in God’s image.
By God challenging my perspectives on both sex-trafficking victims and perpetrators, He led me to start TrueNorth. Through my work with TrueNorth, my views on sex and sexuality have been challenged as well, and He’s taught me so much in the process.
What are your perspectives on sexuality? Do you understand its sacredness, its purposes, its power? How have your experiences affected your views on it? What kind of lens are you viewing it through? A worldly lens or a biblical lens? A lens shrouded by shame, pain, or regret, or one wiped clean by the Savior’s love and grace?
As you think about leading your children toward a God-honoring view of sexuality and equipping them to face the challenges of living in a sexualized culture, what is your mindset? Is there an element of fear or avoidance? Is the soul enemy casting doubt over God’s good design making you uncertain of what to say? Is the accuser stirring up memories and casting them at you like stones that sting and condemn you all over again? Is your love and care for people with same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria leading you to question what God’s word says, making it difficult to reconcile the two?
God can handle all of your questions, reservations, doubts, and fears. He’s journeyed with you throughout the whole of your life. He knows your heart and what motivates your thoughts or informs your current perspectives. He’s inviting you to something greater.
Our sexuality is one of the most powerful aspects of our being. It’s also one of the most sacred, regardless of your experiences, pain, or struggle related to it. Perhaps God is asking you to consider a new perspective on all this: His.
Gaining new perspectives means examining old ones. Testing them. Do they line up with the word of God? Are they lovely and God-honoring? Are they based on truth, supposition, or your emotions? Is it possible they’re hindering your spiritual growth or your ability to lead your family?
God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are high above our ways. Casting off the old and embracing the new takes courage and faith.
Are you interested in learning more about the sacredness of sexuality so that you can gain needed perspective? Do you desire to lead your children toward this but feel you must discover it first? Begin with prayer. Confess the ways in which you’ve thought about sexuality that have dishonored God. Ask God to lead you to His truth to guide you and your family. Search the scriptures for truth to ground you. God will no doubt challenge some of your old ways of thinking, and that could be a very good thing.
We recommend the work of Dr. Juli Slattery and her ministry Authentic Intimacy. Juli’s latest book, Rethinking Sexuality, is a great starting point. You also might enjoy listening to a couple of her podcasts on God’s design for sexuality: Why God Created You to Be Sexual and We Are All Sexually Broken.
TrueNorth is here to guide you and serve you as you journey with God and your family. Let us help you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and tell us how we can do this better.
If you’re a mom, dad, grandparent, or if you work with children and you’re in the Atlanta area, come and hear our talk, Allies: Parents and Kids Navigating a Sexualized Culture, at ChristChurch Presbyterian on Friday, January 25. If you’re a pastor or ministry leader, make plans to attend the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church in Marietta, Georgia, May 2-4. For information on both of these events, click here. For more resources on God-honoring sexuality, check out our website.
By identifying and banishing unhealthy or worldly perspectives on sexuality and adopting God’s perspective, you’ll be much more motivated to go where He leads you, grounded in His truth, and empowered by His presence. And you’ll find your loved ones following after you. It’s an amazing journey. Don’t miss it!
Founder and CEO
TrueNorth Freedom Project Atlanta, GA
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